Liz Woke Up Gay
by Sara6
Summary: See title. And don't flame me, because it just makes you look stupid.


Liz Woke Up Gay

**Liz Woke Up Gay**

  
Rating: PG  
Summary: See title.  
Distribution: Well I wrote this for Kate's site [I Woke Up Gay][1] so you know, yeah. And my site (http://www.geocities.com/addictedkitten). Otherwise, send me feedback and I'll give you my permission.  
Notes: I just couldn't resist.  
BGM: "Oops, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears. 

"It's April 16, 2001. I'm Liz Parker, and today I woke up gay..." 

Liz's alarm clock went off. She sat up in bed, turned it off, and smiled widely. The sun shone through her window, filling her heart with joy as she leaped out of bed exultantly. She felt different somehow, better, brighter, happier. She felt...gay. 

"Liz, come on, we've got to open the restaurant!" her dad called from outside her door. 

"I'll be right there, Daddy!" Liz called back. With an ever-widening grin she pulled on her Crashdown uniform and stood in front of her mirror. "Not bad," she said appraisingly. Then she rummaged through her makeup bag, finally settling on the brightest pink lipstick she owned and applying it to her lips. A small tin of iridescent white glitter caught her eye and she pulled it from the bag. She opened it up and poured half the contents into her palm, then tossed it into the air, giggling as she danced in the rain of glitter. 

With one last sparkling bubblegum-pink smile, she left the room. 

*** 

After skipping down the stairs, Liz entered the diner to see Max standing at the front door, hands in his pockets. She opened the door and ushered him in. "Max, how are you doing? Is everything alright?" she asked sympathetically. 

Max stared at her. "What?" 

Soothingly, she patted him on the shoulder. "You're such a nice boy, Max. You'll find the right person someday. Don't worry about it." 

"But Liz," Max said as his eyes welled up with tears. "How can I be happy if we're not together? You're my soulmate, Liz. You mean everything to me. We have to be with each other, Liz. I love you..." he rambled. 

She sighed. "I know it seems that way now, Max, but things will get better! I can't be with you anymore, but I'm sure there's some perfectly nice boy out there waiting just for you." 

Max blinked several times. "Boy?" 

"Ooooh!" Liz squealed. "There's Kyle and Tess!" The two were approaching the Crashdown, laughing companionably. Frantically, Liz adjusted her outfit, then turned to Max. "How's my hair? Do I look okay?" 

"Uh-" Max started as she skipped to the doors and opened them, ushering in the two friends. 

"Kyle! Tess!" Liz said enthusiastically. Kyle looked mildly alarmed as she led him to Max. "You two should go take a walk in the park! It's a beautiful day!" She pushed them lightly towards the exit. "I have to talk to Tess about something personal. Have fun!" One final push and they were on the sidewalk. "Bye!" 

With a predatory smile, Liz turned to Tess. "You know, Tess, we never really talk," she purred. 

Tess looked equal parts alarmed and confused. "Uh huh..." 

"That should change." Liz slowly approached her, prompting the petite blonde to back up and collide with the counter. 

"Liz, I-" Tess began, then paused as she realized Liz was giving her a very thorough once-over. "What's going on?" 

Liz's eyes were slowly tracking up her legs. "Those jeans look great on you. They hug your curves in *all* the right places. Let's go to the back room so I can try them on..." she suggested. 

Tess was just about to answer when the chime over the door rang out, announcing the entrance of one Isabel Evans. Liz cursed under her breath. "Hi Isabel," she said sulkily. 

"Liz! What is going on with you? I ran into Max and Kyle in the park and Max was sobbing about how you were giving up on him or something! Have you gone insane?" Isabel shouted. 

"No! And it's not like it's anything personal. Max just has the wrong chromosomes, that's all," Liz tossed off breezily. 

Behind them, Tess's eyes were slowly widening as she considered the implications of Liz's words. She looked up at Isabel, then strode forward and grabbed her arm. "Isabel! Max will be fine, don't worry about it. But right now I have to comfort Liz, so if you wouldn't mind..." She hustled Isabel out the door, then very nearly slammed it on her. "Bye now!" 

Tess turned back slowly, staring directly at Liz as she locked the door. Liz smiled at her, and Tess met it with a sultry grin. "Now, didn't you mention something about removing clothing?" 

"Something like that," Liz giggled. "Race you to the back room." 

"You're on," Tess replied, and off they went. 

The End  
3/31/2001  


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